I don’t know if moms and dads are still doing it to their children, but the concept of growing up to be a princess is ingrained in our brains from birth. Tiaras, twirly dresses, tulle, tea parties, and everything pink we can get our hands on. We are called Princesses. We have Princess themed parties. We put on our glass slippers that came with our Barbie and her lookalike slippers, we crack open our easy bake ovens and we do some cute cooking for our hubbies. Do I like pink because it’s a sweet lovely color or do I like it because it was presented to me with smiles and hugs every time it was around. Is pink the hug I need everyday? If you don’t believe how ingrained the princess tale is – turn on the news – it’s now everywhere – and billions watched.
It’s difficult and yet thrilling to live in these current times where women are finally getting to use their voices and actually shift some conversations. I watched a movie last night where the twenty something girls were all talking about dick, and sex, and fucking, and using their women power to grab a hold of shit and unapologetically run with it. I realized – I’m still not comfortable with hearing this on my tv. They were so BRASH about sex. I realized – even I have a long way to go when it comes to how I feel about how women act.
I was born in 1960 and my rules for being raised were – don’t do drugs or drink, go to college, get a job (not a career), get married , have babies, be pretty, find a rich jewish husband, don’t get tattoos. Oh and pipe down a bit will you? Oh and don’t get fat. I am currently 3 out of 10. Don’t try and figure it out – it will hurt your brain.
I have a lot of friends in their twenties and they still share some feelings i had when I was their age. I know getting married and having babies is still an important concept to them but they are doing it much later in life. Part of that is choice because they know EVERYTHING will change the minute they marry and have babies. Career on hold! And so they wait because a career is important to them – because they too need to make useful contributions to their lives and others. So they think – maybe thirty something is a better time to get married. They don’t necessarily kibash the idea of the white horse and the prince riding in to save them – because it never leaves your brain that a man will save you. They also don’t have the time to go on the internet and find their own horse and ride him around before figuring out if he’s the one. Some of them have already found their prince – married him – realized he’s the devil – and then dumped him. And they beat themselves up for that. Oh god I’m already divorced at 30!!!
And then the new Royal Wedding happened and I realized – Meghan Markle – The Duchess of Sussex or “Success” as my friend @kevinfrazier just coined her is going to change things for a lot of thirty something women in particular. Meghan didn’t just open the door for young women to realize they can be anything – she kicked it in and did it with an extreme amount of elegance and grace. Meghan is a 36 year old, biracial, once divorced, hollywood starlet. I’m quite certain that checks off zero boxes on that royal checklist. She has also been a tireless advocate for those who can’t fight for themselves since she was 11 years old. She has been a global ambassador for world vision and an advocate for the UN, standing up for inequality.
I don’t know if Meghan believed in marrying a prince but she is now a more powerful voice in our global war against inhumanity and that alone is how we should celebrate her as a woman. The wedding, the duke, the jewels, the fairy tale – is the icing on a cake that she’s been baking for a very long time. She went into the world and did her thing and she met her Prince the normal way – on a blind date.
So, let’s all be Meghan’s today. Let’s focus less on the MAN and more on the HUMAN. Lets go out there today and stop worrying about things like – who’s going to complete us – because that person is sitting with you right now. It’s you. Let’s be the best versions of ourselves we can be and the rest will follow – whatever your personal dreams may be.