Say Goodbye To Hollywood

Published May 28, 2014 by WELCOME TO HEIDI

There’s this weird thing that happens to people after we live in Los Angeles for a while – in particular – those of us who live in Hollywood. Eventually we all start to blur the line between who’s famous and who are our friends. We see someone we think we know and shout hello to them only to find out the reason we know them is because they are famous not because they once came to our house to play Trivial Pursuit or Canasta or whatever it is people play in their homes. Case in point – I once accosted Bradley Whitford at the Gelsons in my neighborhood because I thought he was my friend. “Ohmigod, how are you?” I chirped across the parking lot. He looked at me and said – “I’m sorry do we know each other?” I paused for a moment and realized, well no Bradley we don’t. I’m just a fucking weirdo who is obsessed with The West Wing and after years of viewing it on my tv – have mistaken you for my friend here at the supermarket. Goodbye. Carry on. Have a lovely day. Try the sushi. So sorry. Please don’t get a restraining order.
Last night while attending a Billy Joel concert at the Hollywood Bowl – it happened again. There I was gleefully prancing to my seat when suddenly – “ohmigod my friend Bill.” I wave – carry on – point – wave again – flail around like a mental patient – and nothing – just a blank stare from my friend Bill. Why you ask? Because it wasn’t my friend Bill it was Doug Savant from Melrose Place. I could see the terror in his eyes. Oh shit – some old fan is gonna ruin my night with the Piano Man. I turned away and just started laughing my ass off and then fled for my seats which thankfully were NOT right next to his. Wow. Awkward.
This happens all the time in Hollywood. At least to me.
Eventually I settled down for what turned out to be one of the best concerts I’ve ever been to. My twenties flashed before me as I listened to what was part of the soundtrack of my life. I told the 23 year old I was at the concert with this and he said – I hate when people use that expression – the soundtrack of my life. I said – that’s because you’re not allowed to use it when you’re 23. You haven’t had a life yet – and so – you have no soundtrack. The next time a 23 year old says this to you – punch them in the face. But I do have a soundtrack – and it’s Billy Joel, and the Beatles, and the Psychedelic Furs, and oh so many more. There is nothing greater than the nostalgia that comes with the music of your past that takes you back to a place and time filled with people and moments and snippets of the life you have lived. There was a group of fifty something jews from Long Island – my people – sitting next to us and together we screamed and danced and took a trip down memory lane. It was a warm beautiful night and Billy Joel sounds exactly the same as he did back in the eighties and as I looked over at Doug Savant I thought – we might not know each other and you might very well be calling the police for a stay away order but we’ll always have Billy Joel and I’m gonna tell everyone I know – that we went to this concert together – and we bonded like you read about.

6 comments on “Say Goodbye To Hollywood

  • Happens in NYC too. Had one of those blurred recognition moments with Julianne Moore at Citarella (Food Store) . She was sweet about it, but i felt pretty darn silly.

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