Got Breast Milk

Published November 27, 2012 by WELCOME TO HEIDI

Got Breast Milk?

Maybe it was crossing the line but I spent a solid twenty minutes at work today trying to convince a male co worker to go home that night and try his wife’s breast milk – and not from the bottle like a pussy – but straight from the boob.  He’s the father of a newborn and we got into a discussion about breast milk and I thought – shit, I wonder if he’s ever tried it. So of course, I had to ask. Then I thought, how come I’ve never asked anyone this before. It’s kind of an important question – do you or don’t you? Have you or haven’t you. This is a new way to separate the men from the boys in my humble opinion.  “Ever try boob milk?” “Fuck yeah.”  It’s not like drinking your own urine. It’s a food item for fuck sake.  I mean, if my wife was producing a perfectly good meal from a body part, I’d totally want to try it.  Heck, if by some miracle I ended up pregnant and was nursing my child – I’d find a way to jam my own boob in for a taste test.  It seems like something you should do at least once in life as an adult, no?  I now want to ask this of everyone who’s ever had a baby but I’m afraid I’m going to let a creepy genie out of a bottle and I won’t be able to shove her and her nursing boobs back in.  Something’s you just don’t need to know about your friends. I just hope my co-worker tries it and reports back. I promised him I’d tell no one.  It’s really too bad that men can’t make a food come out of their private parts. It would make some things so much more interesting.

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