I am not the kind of girl you will see on a Girls Night Out. I never have been. I point and laugh at other girls on their nights out. They look desperate and dumb. Or so I thought. Last night I joined the GNO club – fuck it – I hosted it – all in the name of man meat. The first time I saw the trailer for “Magic Mike” I thought – damn Channing Tatum is a good dancer. The second time it was – damn Channing Tatum has a great body. The third time I just said – uhm, damn I should maybe see this movie. I really wanted to see a stripper movie directed by Steven Soderbergh and thought if I saw it I might understand what drew him to the subject matter – at least that’s the excuse I’m going with. I really just wanted to see a bunch of hot guys take their clothes off – yes I have become that old woman. So last night – myself and 7 other ladies took in a 7 pm showing of Magic Mike. We sat in the second row because the movie was completely sold out. I will never be that close to Channing Tatum’s dick again – and for that – I am eternally sad. The theater was packed to the brim and not just with women and gays – all of America was taking in this feel naked flick. One hour and fifty minutes later I am here to tell you – Channing Tatum is my spirit dog. I want him to sit at the end of my bed naked and guard me as I sleep. I also want to know his waxer because that mans ass and inner regions were very well scaped. Channing Tatum’s ass is magical. It made me want to do things I don’t normally think about. He is also a spectacular dancer. There may have been other people in the movie but I don’t know what they did or said. Oh, there was some annoying chick who was kinda hunch backed and dead pan but I tried to ignore her because she kept talking when Channing was on the screen. Olivia Munn was also in the movie. Uhm – huh? If I think about the plot of this one or dissect it for one single second I will probably be disappointed but I enjoyed it so much I’m going to just focus on the one thing I felt at the end – that was super fun. Oh and Jenna Dewan is the luckiest woman alive. Matthew McConaughey has redeemed himself for any bad movies he’s ever made because he throws himself into this role with such delicious abandon I have a newfound respect for him – and his clearly waxed ass, balls, and taint.
After the movie we all went out to dinner and I think I’m now rethinking the whole girls night out thing. I think I’ll do it again – but maybe invite some boys next time. Stripper boys. I’ll bring the dollar bills.