If one more person tells me to read “Fifty Shades of Grey” I will punch that person in the face. They will probably like this however since they like books about S&M and bad shit happening to women in the name of love. So, I may have to rethink the punishment. Maybe I’ll make them wear an outfit by Laura Ashley. Does she still design clothing that looks like couch covers? Every girl goes through a Laura Ashley stage. It’s usually around the time they buy painted furniture for their apartments and own an armoire. Why do I need to read a book about a woman being tied up and raped? I already watch all the Law & Orders – even SVU without Chris Meloni which is also some form of punishment. I’ve never been a romance novel reader so I’m already uninterested in this book but if you want to write a sexy fantasy book that would intrigue me just call it – Ryan Gosling Wants to Fuck You. This is what I found inside a sample chapter from the Grey phenomenon – “Our fingers brush very briefly and the current is there again, zapping through me like I’ve touched an exposed wire. I gasp involuntarily as I feel it all the way down to somewhere dark and unexplored.” There is no such thing as somewhere dark and unexplored. We’ve explored it all – without you.