I am about to make some grand generalizations so calm the fuck down. Don’t write me a note – I don’t give a fuck.
So – it seems that a bunch of men in Hollywood are disgusting lecherous pigs who push their power on weaker people and take advantage of them. Hang on a second – let me go put on my big surprise face. Oh wait – I’m not surprised. I have had more disgusting shit said to me in my years in this business than i even remember – and yes – I’ve had someone force themselves on me – twice – and I was too drunk to stop it. If you have worked in the industry you have either seen or overheard someone doing or saying something inappropriate to someone else. Period. The end. No ifs ands or buts about it. It’s the nature of this business and it attracts a lot of good looking people who are sometimes banking on their looks to break in and are probably used to being hit on by fat pasty white people too old to handle their shit. And sometimes – in some of the cases we’re hearing about – it’s not just words and touches – its full on rape, assault, treacherous behavior from predators. And when all the dust settles from this – I hope we have a better understanding of how to talk to each other and how to behave – like fucking adults – because the truth is – it doesn’t matter if you just patted her or him on the ass – she didn’t ask you to do it, so keep your grubby chubby paws to yourself. She (or He) also didn’t ask you to comment on her tits, her hair, her ass, her anything – and that my friends is really the problem because it’s not Hollywood that has a harrassment problem – its America – and if you’re a woman, it’s with you from fucking birth. I’m starting to understand why certain religions cover their women up – cause you people can’t handle it when our knee caps are showing. I guess I’d have to do some research to see where it all started – how women became the pretty sex. The sex that is dressed up and sexed up for male pleasure. I’m sure there are scads of books I’m not will to read on how we became the ones focused on beauty and being beautiful and attracting the opposite sex as if its our job or our lives depended on it. And I guess our jobs of being wives and mothers does depend on us being pretty and snagging ourselves a good man. God knows you’re ostracized if you don’t have a man. What’s wrong with her? Why is she still single? It would be a very different world if it were the men who primped and pea-cocked and made themselves sexually desireable. I would safely venture to say that most men don’t leave the house and think about what they look like and I guarantee you almost EVERY woman does. And by the way – just because I spend a lot of time making myself look pretty doesn’t mean I’m doing it for you. I’m doing it because thousands of advertisers and magazines have told me my entire life to care about this shit and so I do. I can’t stop it and it’s not my fault. I mean – look at how women are judged for how they look? It’s never about how smart she is. It’s how pretty she is. Or how thin she is.
As newborns we come out of the womb and people say – look how pretty she is. As toddlers we get dressed up in adorable outfits and people touch us all the time. They pinch our cheeks and pat us on our heads and butts. You’re so pretty! You are going to be a beautiful bride. It’s banged into our heads. As teenagers we can’t wait to try on makeup and high heels and we dress ourselves in seductive outfits. We instantly become competitive with our girlfriends – over men. And they reinforce this behavior pitting us against each other. We spend all of our young influential years fighting off the incredibly strong sexual desires of these pimply faced adolescent men and are literally taught that that’s what we are there for. To fulfill their desires. We do everything physically possible to get boys and hope they will ask us out and eventually give us big shiny rings we can flash in other girls faces to make them feel bad. We dye our hair, wear makeup, get tighter dresses, get boob and ass implants. Please find me a woman that wants her tits bigger for herself. We don’t give a shit about tits. I had giant cans when i was younger and spent my entire life hiding them until i finally cut them off. It’s so nice to have a conversation with a man looking me in the eye for once because I took away his other focal point. To me – cleavage was a no no. Now where do you think that idea came from? Every time I revealed my boobs when I was younger I got – “Wow I didn’t know you had those.” Sigh. Then we get older and become invisible to the opposite sex because we are no longer what they are looking for. We’re too old, too loose, too wrinkly to whatever you stupid fucks. And now – because all those people who told us we’re pretty – don’t say it anymore – and we feel like crap all the time. What a horrible life of trying to be perfect and pretty and desireable. I know I’m fucking exhausted and I don’t see myself stopping anytime soon.
And lets talk about the competition with women – we don’t look at other pretty girls as potential friends – we look at them as women who will steal our boyfriends – why? because men will flirt with your friends and not give a shit. They are not in the same sexual game as us. They are fucking. We are mating.
Look at the television shows about women (and I watch them all) fighting with each other and destroying each others lives. It’s the most popular type of show on the airwaves. Women screaming at each other and treating each other like shit. Is there a male equivalent to this? Sports? Men don’t watch these show by the way. They just set us up to act like this and then run until the dust settles. Then they laugh at us and say – women don’t get along with each other. Well you know what – we would if we pulled you mother fuckers out of the equation. I know there’s nothing interesting about watching a show where women all get along with each other but I’d watch a show where they all tell the cheating beating men in their lives to fuck off.
And I think in general we need to call people on their shit more. I’ve been harassed by horrible mean women in this life as well. But I’ve always used my voice and not worried about the consequences of calling out my abusers – when i’m aware of it. I’m not your average woman though and I know how hard it is to say goodbye to a job or paycheck because someone wants to make your work life miserable.
We are pawed at and clawed at from a very young age and until we change the way we raise little girls and little boys – not much will evolve. I love making myself pretty and wearing sexy clothes – within reason – but I think and hope that at my age I’m doing it for me. Sometimes I get the sinking feeling that theres an actual chip in my head somewhere that has programmed me to feel this way but until I find it – I’ll probably continue to dye my hair – work out every day – microblade my eyebrows – tint my lashes – paint my toenails – wax my vagina – bleach my teeth – massage my cellulite – fuck i can’t finish this list because I’m late for a hundred appointments.